Lyrics and music by Larry
except: "double-strapped my thighs" contributed by Robert One Man Johnson
This is a song that discusses a subject rarely mentioned in folk music: minor surgery!
Well, I went to see my Doctor, I said, "Doc, I can't pay my bills! The rent's all spent, The truck's got a dent, And I think I'm gettin' the chills From being forced to sleep alone, You see this house just ain't no home, I can't afford no kids, My life is on the skids, 'Cause my woman says "Leave me alone, Unless you get a vasectomy! You ought to get a vasectomy! Just one little male alteration Can keep us from another altercation! Get a vasectomy! You ought to get a vasectomy! Oh what a vas deferens there could be!" Well, the next thing I know, I'm laying on a table With a light shinin' in my eyes! They strapped my wrists, They strapped my ankles, And they double-strapped my thighs! The nurses were a gigglin' And I was a wigglin', Most uncomfortably, When the Doc walked in, With a perverted grin, And here's what he said to me: "It only hurts For a little while, That's what they tell me, That's what they say!" Oooeeeiy! Ooooh! Aiiiy Oh! Well, it's two weeks later, And I feel a little better, My mind is more at ease. The rent's still spent, The truck's got a dent, But my woman's no longer a tease! And even down at the office, There is a lot more interest in me, The girls all grin when I walk in! And brother, they mean to please A man with a vasectomy, You ought to get a vasectomy! Like a sun-kissed orange, I've been squeezed, 'Cause its all juice and there's no seed! Well, a vasedctomy! You ought to get a vasectomy! Oh what a vas deferens! It's beginnin' to make a little sense! Oh what a vas deferens there could...' Here is the part that I like the most, It takes the danger out of bein' close! Oh what a vas deferens there could.. They snip those little suckers right in two And clamp 'em of with super-glue! Oh what a vas deferens there could be!
Last update: June 3, 2005